Another day in.... Hell?

Quarantine logbook, Day....

Day...

Day whatever! I lost count.

Eventually we've all fallen in this eternal loop of things repeating themselves day after day, after day, after day.... you get it, right? There's definitely a glitch in the Matrix! Also, who let Pandora open that damn box again?

I'm trying to be creative here as, apparently, the endless well of ideas for my big project has developed a tangle of epic proportions! A bunch of ideas that all fit together but not quite that still tell a story but yet something is not adding up or a piece seems to be missing.

As  I sit here trying to untangle those ideas and possibly make some progress I grasped the opportunity to make a few phone calls. First of all I called the hotel I'm supposed to start working at next month, no news on that front, not before the middle of April at least... Oh well, fingers crossed, I need a major change of scenery as far as work-life is concerned, things had gotten too uncomfortably comfortably at my previous job. The second thing I tried to to was try to get some information from a state agency about the elongated period of unemployment the quarantine caused but apparently all lines are busy the past... long period of time... I'll try again and see how it goes though.

Other than bitching, and making no progress on anything, it's a beautiful day outside and thanks all the windows and balcony doors being open, I might manage to bring a little bit of this day inside. If that makes any sense. The sky is blue, the see is bluer and the birds are singing, pretty optimistic sounding, right?  Right. Let's just hope it's the first of many warm, beautiful days to come and kick this madness away.

Stay awesome everyone!
Until next time! 💪😀😘

The breakthrough!

Spoiler alert! Not much randomness follows!!

A few hours ago I had the biggest realization of the past few years! What I have mistakenly trying not to call a writer's block so I don't make it real, is nothing like that! It's denial!!

Let's clear things up. Some years now I've been working on, what I will call for the purpose of this post, a big project. The thing with said big project is, I haven't been making much project lately, I thought I was dealing with yet another case of my biggest nemesis, writer's block, but today I came to the  realization that the only reason I'm not making any progress is not the lack of ideas or inspiration but simply the fact that this project is nearing an end and I am not ready to part with it. Though, deep down, I know it won't be a goodbye, I have lots of relevant things to work on when it is completed, I am not emotionally ready to let go thus, I'm stalling. Sabotaging myself yet again as I have done enough times in the past to know it's happening. The difference is, this time I'm determined to fight it, I have no distractions and nowhere to "hide" from it thanks to the pandemic quarantine! Who knows, maybe something good will come out of this mess...! 

Till next time!

Fueled by something // Random thoughts

After spending the whole night watching stand up comedy routines on Netflix while miserably failing to make any progress with my latest writing project I came to a realization. I discovered what motivated me to do things.
I frequently say that my  motivation, stubbornness and occasionally my creativity are fueled by my excessive consumption of coffee, sometimes my creativity can be fueled by my anger and occasionally by a glass of wine or a shot of vodka but, what I just realized really fuels me? Spite. That's it. I'm a bitter, bitchy loner of a person. I do things always with an ulterior motive of proving people wrong which I more often than not always end up rubbing into their faces afterwards.
Many things have contributed to this aspect of my existence, some of them were mentioned on my previous post so I won't re-list them, I hate to repeat myself almost as much as I hate small talk, obvious questions like "What are you doing?" when I'm clearly watching TV in example or people who wear excessive amounts of perfume/cologne/or something equally smelly, I mean what's wrong with them? If they think they smell bad, why don't they take a shower instead of emptying a bottle of this shit on themselves?
Anyways, that's all I have to say for now. I'm awake, it's early, I might as well get some things done anyway, I have a 2014 router to try and exchange for a newer model with the phone provider company, a geocache to replace and I'll most likely remember a bunch of other things to do, also I'm seriously thinking about that intermittent(?) fasting thing where you only eat only one meal a day as I'm still trying to lose those 15 extra kilos I managed to get in the 4 months I've not been working so.... yeah, we'll see how this turns out. Off I go~!